Our tiniest tiny is now almost five years old. We alternately refer to him as “Mr. Buttcheeks” “Tiny” and “Lunchbox.” Sometimes we call him by his name. But it seems like maybe he needs a more musical nickname. Because he makes up songs regularly, and he seems to have an innate sense when it comes to DRM and licensing. If any of us are caught singing one of his songs, he will — depending on his mood — inform us that we don’t have the proper rights to sing that song. “You’re not on the list.”
I thought I would share some of his more popular and frequently requested selections here, though I am certainly violating his rights stipulations by doing so. The good news is that he cannot read yet, so he won’t have any idea about this. Don’t tell him. That one yells a lot when he’s pissed. Without further ado, I give you the musical stylings of our tiny Lunchbox:
Circus Parade! Circus Parade! Diiiii-ettttt Coooookkkkkeeee!
Circus Parade! Circus Parade! Circussssss Pooooop!
He’s Popeye the Sailor Man!
He lives in a garbage can.
He eats all the ‘pinach, he gets all the healthy,
He throws all his corn around!
Tascos Padascos, one, two, three…
I just pooped in your Diaper Genie!
In this wooooorrrllld….
It’s a wonderful, wonderful vacation.
(Repeat endlessly, sing slowly with feeling)
Finally, here is Lunchbox, who has graciously offered to perform one of his recent hits. Type in “Lunchbox” to see it. I give you:
It’s a four-piece (pause)
(Repeat endlessly and do not ask questions about what a padunza is. We have tried to figure this one out, but there are few hints offered. Evidently, you can find padunzas in other arrangements, but the four-piece seems to be the family one.)