Life with a Marine can be interesting. Not only do I get to tour some extremely scenic locations (uh, yeah, this is sarcasm, folks!), but I have picked up quite a vocabulary! Unfortunately, not only do I live with one Marine who uses some colorful language from time to time, but I work with a few too. As a result, I’ve picked up some phrases — we’ll call them “Majorisms” that I thought I’d share. Ten points if you can use them all in one day after reading this.
1) Regarding something that won’t be well received: “That oughta go over like a fart in church.”
2) Regarding someone who appears to have had better days: “He looked like a bag of smashed a**holes.”
3) “…looks like he got beat with a bag of nickles.”
And my favorite:
4) Best used to explain how little you care about something: “I don’t give two squirts of piss about that.”
I’m sure there are more… I will do a better job making mental notes when The Major offers new ones up (which I swear he does almost every day).